Tag: speed

What to do about cars speeding in villages?

Muttley

The local council could not afford a speed camera, so they put up a sign saying: Slow down Old People’s Home. – It had no effect. At the next meeting the decided to play on the paternal instincts and put up a sign: Danger – Children at Play. – No discernable reduction in traffic speed. Then the chairman had a brain-wave and suggested they try a sign with: Nudist Colony. As a result of the Nudist Colony notice, white vans and lorries crawl thought the village.

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Interstate speed limit

Muttley

There was a car that was driving very slowly down the highway. A policeman pulls it over. “What have I done wrong, officer?” the old lady asks. “You are going 26mph on a major highway. There is a law against that,” the officer says to the old lady. “You must go at least 50mph.” “But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!” “HA HA HA!” The officer laughs out loud. “That is because this is Interstate 26! The 26 isn’t the speed limit!” The old lady leans…

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How to recognise a company car

Muttley

– They accelerate at a phenomenal rate – They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse – They enjoy a much shorter braking distance – They can take bumps at twice the speed as private cars – Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly as much as a private car – They have a much tighter turning radius – The floor is shaped like an ashtray – They do not have to be garaged at night – They can be driven up to…

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