A BMW asked a Volkswagen Beetle: “Why are your eyes popping out of your body?”
The Volkswagen replies “Let them put an engine in your ass and see what happens to your eyes”
Two bugs are parked side by side in parking lot on a hot summers day. One bug turns to the other bug and says, dam, it’s getting hot out here. The other bug turns and says, holy crap, a talking beetle!
A little old lady was driving her VW beetle when she experienced some trouble…it died right there!
Well, she managed to get her vehicle out of traffic, got out via the driver’s door, proceeded to the front of the car, and raised the “bonnet”.
While she stood there looking, another elderly lady pulled up…also in a VW Beetle…and offered some assistance.
“What’s wrong?” the second lady asked the first.
“I seem to have lost my engine!” replied the first lady.
“OH! How lucky“, exclaimed the second lady “This car just happened to come with a spare one in the boot!”
About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW beetle had died because I had left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time, so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand getting the car started.
I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric, oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push me fast enough to start it. I pointed out that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 MPH for it to start. She said, fine, hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming, wondering where she was going when she knew I was running late. A minute passed by when suddenly I saw her in my rearview mirror coming at me at about 40 MPH!!
I realized, in that split second just before impact, that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions!
What’s more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
