Witness of a Car Accident

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said “I wish you could talk.” The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. “You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. “Well, did you see this?” “Yes,” motioned the…

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DUI Dragnet

During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrol officer waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted a potential quarry. The man was so obviously drunk that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off,…

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Craziest four wheel drive

The Chainlink 4X4 is by far the craziest four wheel drive in the world. Engine is a fuel injected Ford 5.0 V8 out of a ’93 cobra mustang, c4 transmission and t-case out of an early bronco. For controlling all that 7 feet climbing and dipping, there is Rube Goldberg gear network: 5.38 gears and centrally-mounted ARB air locker. The hydraulically controlled swing arms can be controlled individually or together. It is made of steel tubing, weighs 5900 lb and its tires are 39.5″. It’s spectacular.

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A Christian Grandma's Driving Experience

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes to a friend: The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker .. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red…

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Drive on…

A group of pensioners were discussing their medical problems at the Day Centre coffee morning. “Do you realise” said one, “My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup.” “Yes, I know.” replied the second, “My cataracts are so bad I can’t see to pour the coffee.” “I can’t turn my head” rejoined the third, “because of the arthritis in my neck.” “My blood pressure pills make my dizzy” commented the fourth, adding, “I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old.” “Well, it’s not all…

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