Tag: cop

The new metro cop

Muttley

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue. “Can I see your license and registration, bub?”, the cop inquired. “But officer,” the fellow started, “I can explain…” “Shut yer trap, bub!” snapped the officer. “You’re going downtown and sit a while till the sarge gets back.” “But, officer, I think you really should know…” “And I said to shut yer trap! You’re going to jail!” A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the sarge is…

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Cop With a Sense of Humor

Mad

The person I heard this from (“Al” in the story) swears that it really happened. Two guys (we’ll call them “Mark” and “Al”) are out cruising. Mark is driving, and they’re on some out-of-the way roads. Mark is distracted and doesn’t see a stop-sign, and a few moments after he runs it they hear a siren and see blue lights. Mark has never been stopped by the police before, and gets really nervous. MARK: OhshitwhatdidIdo? I wasn’t speeding, was I? No, I wasn’t speeding. What’d I do what’d I do?…

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What NOT To Say To A Police Officer

Muttley

– Thanks Officer! That’s great. The last officer only gave me a warning as well! – Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I’m in? – Sorry Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in – Sorry Officer, I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yeah I know they are miles ahead of me, but that’s how fast they got away from me! – You’re lucky this car needs a tune-up or you’d have never caught me. – No, I don’t know how…

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A guy gets pulled over for speeding 88 MPH in a 45 zone

Muttley

The cop askes for his drivers license and the guy says “I’m sorry officer, but my license was suspended.” The cop asks for his registration and the guy says, “It’s in the glove compartment, but it’s not in my name because I stole this car in a car jacking and I killed the woman that owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and the gun I used is in the glove compartment.” At this point the cop tells the guy to keep his hands in sight and he…

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Oversize load

Muttley

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11 3.” They got out and measured their rig, which was 12 4.” “What do you think?” one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. “Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”

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