How to recognise a company car

– They accelerate at a phenomenal rate
– They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse
– They enjoy a much shorter braking distance
– They can take bumps at twice the speed as private cars
– Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not need to be checked nearly as much as a private car
– They have a much tighter turning radius
– The floor is shaped like an ashtray
– They do not have to be garaged at night
– They can be driven up to 150 miles with the oil warning light on
– They need cleaning less often, especially inside
– They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged while the car is still in forward motion
– The tire side walls are designed for bumping into and over curbs
– The bumpers can be used to gauge the length of the car
– Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control