DUI Dragnet

During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrol officer waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust.
At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted a potential quarry. The man was so obviously drunk that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle.
He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded!
“This equipment must be broken!” exclaimed the Patrolman.
“I doubt it,” said the drunk, “tonight I’m the Designated Decoy!”

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