30 Reasons Why Cars Are Better Than Women

1. You can look at pictures of nice cars all you want to and not feel like a pervert. 2. You can lust after another car and your current car won’t care. 3. You can hang any kind of car picture in your dorm room and not get in trouble. 4. Women can’t go 200 miles per hour. 5. A woman can’t carry four of your friends on a road trip. 6. You can replace your car any time you want and not feel bad. 7. A car doesn’t have…

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Safe Driver Award

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer. “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” The driver thought for a minute and said, “Well, I guess I’ll go get that drivers’ license.” The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, “Oh, don’t pay attention…

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Porsche 911 vs. scooter

A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him. The guy on the scooter leans over and takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car. Well, the light turned green so the driver of the Porsche decides to show off and peels out and leaves the guy on the scooter in the dust. Then, all of a sudden, he sees the scooter zip on past…

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Stupid question

A car speeding down the highway loses control, goes through a guard rail, rolls down a cliff, bounces off a tree, lands upside down and finally stops. Wheels spinning in the air, smoke and steam pouring out from under the hood. A passing motorist, who witnessed the entire accident, helps the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. “Good Lord Mister” he gasps, “Are you drunk?” “Of course!,” says the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. “What the hell do you think I am? A stunt driver or something?”

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